What is the difference between normal forgetfulness and the signs of dementia, and when should you seek help? Susan Robbins, Regional Director of Dementia Training at The Arbor Company, joins us to explain the differences and help us understand the normal effects of aging and which symptoms require more attention.
Video Transcript
Hello, everybody. Welcome into Senior Living LIVE! My name is Melissa. Thank you so much for being with us. As you can see, it's not really our normal studio set up for senior living live. We're on the road at one of our gorgeous communities in the Chicago, Illinois area. It is Arbor Terrace Highland Park, And today, we're here with the wonderful Susan Robbins, our expert on everything dementia related to talk about the difference between normal forgetfulness.
Right? We all forget things. And when it might be time to see a doctor about something a little bit more serious. And in this case, we're talking about dementia.
So we wanna differentiate those signs between normal forgetfulness and dementia. Susan's gonna break it all down for us. Susan great to have you. Well, thank you.
I'm excited to be here. Yeah. Thank you.
First, for those who don't know a lot about you, tell us about your background and what you do for the arbor Well, I have the pleasure and really a privilege to help support all our Arbor communities our families, our staff, and the greater community on helping people understand what it's like to be living with dementia.
And help you love your loved one the way you used to, even though they have dementia.
Yes. And so question you get asked a lot know, especially on the webinars that we have. People wanna know, you know, I'm getting a little older. I'm aging.
What is normal in terms of forgetfulness and what isn't so normal. So let's start with that question right out of the gate. What's normal? What maybe needs a little bit more attention?
Well, to start. Normal aging, everybody gets forgetful.
And that's just part of life. Sometimes you're just busy. Sometimes you've got too many things going on. You know, it can be very scary to go into the grocery store and come back out and say, oh, I can't remember where I parked my car.
Well, that's normal aging.
When it becomes a problem is when you do something and you come back out and you're standing in the parking lot, and you can't remember whether you just went into the grocery store, are when you're just coming out. And that's kind of a sharp difference. But telling the same stories over and over again, let's face We all have events that happen in our life, and sometimes we'll tell someone the story, and then we'll tell somebody else, and then maybe we'll tell that person again. Is we don't remember who we've told.
But it was something that was exciting. So that's not repeating yourself. It's when you say all the same story you know, five minutes later, you're repeating the same story to someone. That's when you start to have that concern.
Yeah. That's a couple of good tips to to look out for. So if somebody's watching right now and they say, well, I don't fall in the category that she just mentioned of it being normal.
When they head to a doctor, what should that doctor be looking for? What what what is sort of the the process to get that checked out to ensure that it is normal it may be dementia. Well, first is finding a good physician that understands dementia.
Not all the positions understand dementia or how it affects someone. If you're going to an appointment with somebody else, please don't answer the questions. Let the physician know, and being honest, even with your loved one, that this is why we're going so that they can figure out what's going on and what is needed, but let the physician answer the questions because it's it's in our hearts to cover up and try to make sure they don't really have it.
So that's one of the most helpful things you can do. And also understand it is not just forgetfulness.
What really happens first with many dimensions is I lose my frontal temporal lobe, which is my judgment and reasoning and impulse control. What we usually see is a little change in personality.
Okay. Gotcha. So hopefully you're taking notes if you have a loved one you may be concerned about or even for yourself, and and we're gonna continue this because we have a couple more really good questions that you may be asking yourself home.
So you, help train Arbor staff. Right? When it comes to memory care and and they interact with residents day in and day out. What is something that people who don't have dementia don't necessarily understand about dementia?
But are surprised to find out or learn as they go through trading.
I think one of the one of the surprises that people can walk away with is the fact that somebody living with dementia doesn't lose who they are.
I may forget facts and bases and different things but my purse my true personality doesn't change. Now I may get a little agitated at something, and I might what would you would think would be overreact to it that is part of the dementia, but who I am does not change.
For instance, if a resident enjoys walking around the community and picking up stuff, that person probably has always been that person that just jumped up jumped in and got things where somebody that stands back and won't touch or do anything is that person that all their life, they follow the rules to the letter of law.
And those kind of things don't go away. And I think that's what surprises people the most. Yeah. Interesting.
That is an interesting take. And again, you don't know it till you're in it in some way, shape, or form. Right? So we'd like to know, obviously, before we're in it with a loved one or before we are in it within ourselves.
And that actually leads to the next question. And that is, if somebody, has recently been diagnosed with dementia or, they have a loved one who has been diagnosed with what is maybe one of the first key steps that they can take to help prepare for the future?
Well, helping your loved one deal with it by being honest and upfront.
One of the things that happens to somebody living with dementia is they become physically and emotionally shunned.
Whether it's intentional, it's not intentional. It's unintentional, but I'm afraid of don't know what to say to you anymore. All of a sudden, I think you can't carry on a conversation.
Please include me in your conversations.
Ask me questions, treat me the same as you would. And remember, it's a disease of my brain that you can't see, but there and understand. Enjoy the good moments and live with them and meet with them where they are and the ones that make you uncomfortable.
Now if somebody is watching this right now, and it it may not be for them, but they may have a loved one that they fear, may have dementia. Has not been diagnosed yet.
What can they do to help that loved one right now?
Something that has not been diagnosed, and maybe, as you mentioned, that particular individual, they they may not want to know a diagnosis.
Well and it's not because it's a very scary diagnosis. Yep. But once is diagnosed, they in actuality are far more comfortable with what's happening. Let's say I went to the grocery store, and I came home, and I had a gallon of milk, and I opened the refrigerator.
I put it down. My keys were still in my hand, and I let the keys in the refrigerator too. The next day I get up and I'm looking for my keys, and I open the refrigerator and there they are. Well, it's odd place for my keys to be, but you can logically think that through.
I left I did it because I had the gallon milk in my hand, and I didn't realize I set both things the refrigerator. But if you got up the next morning and found your shoes in the refrigerator, that'd be scary. Somebody's been in my house because I would never put my shoes in my refrigerator.
But if I know I have dementia in the moments of clarity, because dementia is in and out. And that's also why it's hard to diagnose and hard for loved ones to see.
But if I'm in and out and if I'm having a clarity moment where the shoes are bothering me, then I know I probably it in a moment. So I can act you can actually decrease somebody's anxiety by having the reality of what going on. It's very painful. It is society still has it. It's people are kind of shunned with it and taking that and being honest.
Yeah. And and people tend to think the opposite. Don't they? Yeah. Oh, you know, well, I I don't wanna upset them.
I don't wanna upset somebody. And in in reality, you're actually helping some buddy by having that diagnosis. It's powerful. Yeah.
Very powerful. Well, Susan, we love tapping into your knowledge. About everything dementia related. We know that our our guests love talking to you.
When you have webinars with us, please go back on one of those soon. We miss you.
But thank you so much for being with us here today on location. Yep. And, chatting about dementia. Thank you for having me.
Yeah. Thank you. And if you did enjoy this with Susan or you found it informative. We certainly want you to keep on watching.
Susan has plenty of videos about dementia related topics on our website. It's www.SeniorLivingLive.com. There we've got a video vault full of information about dementia, about senior related topics that we think you will enjoy. It's available twenty four seven, and the best part guys, it is free. Thank you so much for being a part of Senior Living LIVE! Have a great day, everybody.
