Tracy Clark, Engagement Director at Arbor Terrace Fulton, joins us to discuss finding fulfillment after retirement, and shares tips on finding purpose every day through familiar routines, engagement, and activities.
Video Transcript
- Hello, everyone, and welcome in to "Senior Living Live." My name is Melissa. Thanks so much for being with us today via video, or for those of you listening via podcast, thanks for finding us. Well, today, we want to talk about assisted living, specifically how needing a little bit of extra help or care in your day to day doesn't necessarily mean you can't live a life of fulfillment and purpose. So important. I think this is going to be a great conversation today with someone who sees this every single day, Tracy Clark. She is the engagement director at Arbor Terrace Fulton in Maryland. Tracy, how are you?
- I'm doing well. Thank you, Melissa. Thank you for inviting me.
- Yeah, this is gonna be a really good conversation, as I said. I think a lot of people, they get nervous making that next step because it seems like they're having a little bit more of their independence taken away. And so we're gonna take a deep dive into this to let people know that that is not necessarily the case. So first and foremost, before we get started with our conversation, tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do every day with the Arbor company.
- Well, I've been in the senior field for probably 18, 19 years. Started out in the administrative side, went to finding myself, being a out of my office, not looking at figures, wanting to engage with the seniors. And so eventually I went, there was an opportunity for an activities position. So I went there, which I just, that was my niche, loved spending time with them. And so my, I was the caregiver for my father who became ill with esophageal cancer. So I was his care manager, so to speak. And that gave me, I was around him every day. I knew what his needs were. So I sort of look at my residents as my parents, which I don't have anymore. So I'm like I have 20, 40 sets of parents here, and everything and every day looks like, how do I want my parents? How would I want my parents to be treated? And that's what we sort of, that is our motto. We treat them like family, and that's where we get our energy from and our creativity to give them opportunities every day. So it's a wonderful opportunity to be around them and to be able to share my knowledge with them and to get their knowledge. They're so knowledgeable. It's amazing with these, the history that these residents have and to be able to, and they don't even realize it. So it's fun to pull that out, and give them the full potential.
- Yeah, and so we get to dig into your knowledge with about somebody who has not only worked in this sort of realm and in this particular career path, but somebody who walked the walk. I mean, you talked about taking care of your father, and I'm telling you, when I have these conversations with individuals who have been caretakers for a parent, nothing can replace that knowledge and that experience. It is definitely a feather in your cap, for sure. So let's talk a little bit about reasons why assisted living might be the right choice for somebody.
- Well, a lot of it is, the most important, I think, is socialization. So you have these, many times they come to us, their loved one is living at home by themselves, and that they are not doing anything. They're sitting in front of the TV, they're losing mobility. And often, they may be away from them. So a lot of times, they don't see 'em for weeks at a time, and they come back and on the phone, they're like, "Oh yeah, everything is fine. We're doing lovely. Everything is great." And then they come in and it's like, "You haven't been doing this. You haven't been taking your medicine." You know, and they notice, so they hide it very well. But it's socialization that's so important, and to bring them in to, we have, you know, stimulating their brain. We have brain health exercises all the time, having them be around peers of their own age and abilities, to have, a lot of 'em don't have, their able to go out and see their friends and so forth. So now they're in a community that if they need help, we're there. But if they don't, they can be living on their own in their apartments and not feel like somebody's hovering over them. So the socialization and being out is so important for them and the stimulation of having people to talk to, and the brain health is extremely important.
- Yeah, and for somebody who might not even be a senior, you can imagine, just think back a year and a half or two years ago when COVID started, and we were all in lockdown, and people said the same thing every day. It's like ground hot day, the same thing every day, but you gotta have that stimulation or you're gonna go nuts . And so we experienced it. So imagine what it's like for a senior, and that's their day to day, every single year, and there is no lockdown. So I think that we can all certainly understand a little bit about what you had just said there, and find ourselves in those same shoes. So now that we've talked about why would assisted living be good for somebody, take us through what a normal day is for someone living in an Arbor community that is catered to assisted living?
- Sure, we have a daily activity list that's put out the night before, so that they're able to pick it up and determine whether they want to join in. We have exercise every morning, which is extremely important. So we have all different kinds of yoga. Every day is a different type of exercise, but we have exercise every morning. And we have a few that are an every day going over the news. And then we will have like a brain health activity, but we have a daily routine so that they can schedule their plans for the next day. It gives them an opportunity to, a lot of times they're late, they sleep in late. So it's not everybody that you have to get up. We really get to know our residents. So we know the ones that, "Don't wake me up before 12 o'clock. I sleep in, I stay up late." So we know not to bother that resident, or we have ones that wake up early. So to get to know each individual and what their preferences are, is so important. And all they might need a little invite, a reminder, let's come to activities, let's come to here, and to them and being around their peers is extremely important to have that daily routine. And then we also put in entertainment. We have to be very creative in this COVID time to add that enter entertainment and the different lectures that we have. We've done 'em by Skype and Zoom and all of that. So it's a mixture of spiritual. We have churches that come in. We have Shabbat services. We have Bible studies. We have exercise. We have games. And it's really based upon what the residents want. We don't tell them. We just don't make a schedule. So we have meetings to say, "What would you like to see?" And so we've come up with some amazing new activities every month based upon what the residents wanna see. So.
- Yeah. Well listening to what you, you just said, you start to hear that theme, that the day may look a little bit different for every single person that lives there, because whatever activities are happening or that they wanna be involved in are catered to that particular individual. But we do hear, and you said the word multiple times, routine, so routine, familiarity within that routine, why is that so important?
- Well, Melissa, we all have routines. You have a routine. I have a routine getting up every morning, what I do to get up and get ready to go to work. Others have young children. We all have a routine, as well as our seniors have had a routine all their life. So it's just becoming and changing that routine a little bit and getting that we're all familiar with a routine. So for them that may have some cognitive issues that are failing a little bit, that routine is really important, that they get up every morning, that they do this. And I'm at activities every day at 10 o'clock. And I'm telling you if we're not there at 10 o'clock, it may be 10:01, and they're calling down they're, "We're not here yet. When is activity starting?" So they do have, it's very important to have a routine, because we all do, and they've had one all their lives. So now we're just trying to change it just a little and give them that familiarity and having their lunch at the same time. And after a while, it becomes a pattern, right? After you do it enough, then it becomes a pattern. So you have to have those routines in that day. Because if you had something different every single day, it would really confuse them. So having part of that routine is very important because it's something that we have, we've had all of our lives and we have now. So it is an important part of it, but it also gives it time to let them do their own thing as well. So it's not someone telling them all day long what to do. It's getting them in their own routine.
- Mm-hmm, you get up in the morning at a certain time to get ready for school. You go to school. You come home. You do it again. You go to work.
- Right .
- It's just the routines all the way through life. Yeah, and it should continue. So kind of gives you something to look forward to every single day. So I think this is maybe the most important question of our entire interview, and that is, in what ways can somebody still maintain their independence in assisted living? I know this is a biggie because a lot of people fear that the more care that they need, and this is why they say they don't need help, they don't want that independence taken away, and that's the fear.
- Right, that is a perception that a lot of families come in with, saying my loved one doesn't wanna come in, 'cause they wanna. But if the way you present that is that there may be things that they're doing in their daily routines, such as taking their medication, that it's taking their whole day of them worrying. "I've taken the medicine. When can I take it? When do I have to take it next?" Making sure they have everything, that they're not able to enjoy their day. They're so wrapped up in the few things that they have to do. So coming into an assisted living, we can take that away from them. Take that to, take that medication management and manage that. You don't have to worry about when to take the medicine. We're gonna give you that medicine, take that off, and take those few things that's burdening them, to be able to enjoy the day and take those days. Let's go see a show. Let's go to a play. Let's go to the grocery store. Let's enjoy a lecture from a professor. We have a wide range of all activities, and it's really to be able to take those things away that they have to deal with every day, and it actually gives them more independence, that they're not having to worry about that, "Oh, I have to do this." Or, you know? I'm just saying medication because that's the first thing that comes to mind. That's something that's very important to people, and they've get it in there, but not having to worry about making those doctor's appointments. "How am I gonna get to that doctor's appointment? When is that doctor's appointment? And that I have to do this." Or they say, "I do these exercises." Take that away and give them the time and then say, "Now look, you don't have to worry about that. You have all day, what would you like to do?" And we hear all the time, "I used to love to knit, but I don't knit anymore." Well, why not? Well, because they're too worried about things that they have to do or doing laundry. You know, all that's taken care of. They do your laundry. They come in, they clean your apartment. I mean, who wouldn't wanna live here? I mean, I'm like going, "Am I gonna be able to get a discount when I get the age enough to move in?" Because it takes away. So it's a perception, "Oh, I'm gonna lose my independence by coming into an assisted living." But that's really not the case. And if we can explain it to them and show them that we're gonna take those things away during the day that take up your time. So now you can do things that you used to do and hobbies that you used to do. And that's where the engagement comes in. So we scoop in and say, "Oh, you used to knit and crochet? Well, how about," someone very independent, "How about leading a class on crocheting? Would you please run this class for us?" And that gives 'em purpose, and it gives 'em time. We've taken away some of those burdens that they have to worry about every day and gives them more independence. And so it's really, it's a perception that a lot of them have when they come in, but we are able to show them that that's not the case, that really coming into an assisted living, you can have as much independent as you like. We're just here if you need us. And, you know?
- Yeah, and I mean, you talk about medication, but it can be even as simple as, you're not really even wanting to go shower because the difficulty of getting into the shower and then taking those tasks on when maybe you just physically can't do it as easily anymore, you're not gonna do it. So you're gonna put it off. And then, because you didn't shower, you're not gonna wanna go out. I mean, it really is a domino effect. And it could be little things like that. Or you have arthritis, and you don't wanna eat in front of other people, so you don't. You can get help, and then have somebody else take the burden, as we age, of the help that we need. Somebody else take that burden away, and then we can enjoy our day.
- Sure, and nutrition is a big one and food.
- 100%, yeah.
- Who wants to cook for one? So they're telling their loved one, "Oh yeah, I ate. I'm fine." And then they come in, and they've lost five pounds in a month, and they look in the cupboards, and they're not eating, and the refrigerator. And though they're expressing to their loved one, "Oh, yeah, everything's fine." But to go down and not have to worry about what am I gonna cook? What am I gonna make for, you know? Go down, you have a menu to look at, you have options. You don't have to worry about anything. It's right here. You have breakfast, which is, starting out with breakfast can change your whole day and make your whole day. To go down and sit with other people and not be by yourself. That socialization starts in the morning, sitting down and having a meal with other people, and building relationships and friendships. It's just a domino effect. It really is.
- Yeah, and I think really at the end of the day, we're explaining this because it's something that you see every day, that our professionals and our staff see every day, that assisted living is something that can truly, really improve your quality of life.
- Absolutely.
- Overall, hands down. Just a little bit of extra help doesn't take away the independence. It actually gives you a little bit more independence.
- Absolutely.
- You're not doing anything at home when you're by yourself. Go somewhere, get some help where somebody can allow you to feel like your day is yours, and you're free to do what you want with it. So I love that answer, and I love your examples. I think that, like I said, you see it every single day, and people, again, have this idea of what senior living is based on maybe 20 years ago. It is not like that anymore. So we always tell of people, "Stop by the communities. Take a look first. Don't judge a book by a cover that you saw 20 years ago." So now as we start to wind down this interview, what resources can you offer someone who maybe has watched this video and said, "You know what? It might be time for me or mom or dad to take a peek at assisted living." What can you guide them to? Where can they go?
- Well, we always say starting with our sales and marketing team. We have an amazing team that is so knowledgeable. And they're able to discover, ask those particular questions of what they're looking for. And many times, I have my marketing team come to say, "Here's a person that's really struggling. They're just starting out, and the mother is resistant. The father has just passed away so she's by herself, but she is hesitant to come in." And she may play a particular game or like the theater or something like that. So we invite them. I will give them a call and say, talk to the family, "Invite 'em to come in to an activity." If it's something that if you love lectures, come in and listen to one of our professors. Or if you love, if they love games and brain health, we have a gentleman that comes in that does brain exercises and makes it fun, and it's very challenging. So we invite them in for musical. I have to say, we have some amazing talent that come in here. I've lived in this area most of my life. So I have been in the field. So I have really become friends with a lot of the musicians that are around here. So being personally friends, I get them to come in, that they may not come into a senior community, but they will come in, and we have some amazing performances. So if music or theater is something that someone would really enjoy, we invite them to come in. Come in, maybe come in for a meal if food is important to them. Come in and talk to one of our residents that may have some same similar interest that they have. So there's a lot of different ways that we approach it to come in, but it's certainly like, drive by. We have activities and marketing events and we have outings. So they are welcome to come by and just, sometimes it's a long process. Sometimes it's 12 months before they actually come in. But we have a wine tasting. Right now, we've had to put it off with the COVID for a while, but we have a wine tasting, that we partnered with a gentleman, the owner of a wine and liquor of up the street from us, and he comes in the evening, and we have wine tasting. So he picks different countries, and we invite people in. So we'd have people that were interested coming in, and they were able to sit with other residents and family members. And so the family members get to talk to the others and tell them all about Arbor Terrace. So we have activities that really are able to, they start building relationships before they even move in, which is very important.
- Yeah, and, again, everything you've just talked about, that's, you. You put those things together as the engagement. So kudos to you. All of that sounds just wonderful. And what you've just described, there are all the things that you do there at Arbor Terrace Fulton in Maryland. And it's really sort of a microcosm of what we see in all Arbor communities from the engagement side of things. So, Tracy, thank you so much for what you do to enrich the lives of your residents every single day. I know, we thank you, and they thank you. And we, of course, appreciate you being with us today to share your knowledge.
- Aw, thank you, Melissa. Thank you so much for letting me share my experiences and what we can do with Arbor. We love it.
- Yeah, you got it. Absolutely. And we hope that this video could change a few minds as it relates to senior living, and more specifically, assisted living within a senior living community.
- Absolutely.
- If you are watching and you found this segment with Tracy informative and you wanna learn or about senior living in general, or about the Arbor company, please head on over to our website, www.seniorlivinglive.com. We've got videos just like this one, podcasts available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. As always, we appreciate you watching "Senior Living Live." Have a great day, everybody.
