The Arbor Company is thrilled to host this episode with Senior Options Inc. CEO, Shari Geller, on the topic of advocating for your senior loved one as they navigate their care options in retirement and beyond. Shari discovered her passion for senior care in her 40s while pursuing her masters degree in social work and did everything she could to learn about the care options and resources available for seniors.
19 years later, Shari has thrived in her business and offers a wealth of knowledge to families who want to help their loved one find the compassionate care they deserve but simply don’t know where to start. In this episode, Shari dives into the signs to look for when a loved one may need the additional care that award-winning assisted living or memory care can provide. It’s essential to pay close attention to key behavioral changes in your aging family member, such as not joining in their typical group activities or increasing forgetfulness, that indicate additional help may be needed.
Being smart about noticing our loved one’s needs and exploring the options available in advance may be the crucial step that keeps emergency health situations to a minimum and maximizes the entire familie’s peace of mind and quality of life. Learn more in the video below.
At The Arbor Company, we take pride in partnering with industry-leading professionals like Shari Geller, so that seniors and their families are aware of their care options at all times. You don’t have to face the road ahead alone. With a dedicated and compassionate team by your side, you’ll ensure your loved one has all they need to thrive in this chapter and in the many years ahead.
Video Transcript
Hello, everybody, and welcome into Senior Living Live. My name is Melissa. Thank you so much for being with us here today as we discuss advocating for a senior loved one. Shari Geller, the CEO of Senior Options, is with us today to share her experiences about this topic and answer the most common questions she fields day in and day out. Shari, how are you?
I'm great. Thank you for having me.
Absolutely.
We are really excited, to have you here and to dive into this topic. And you're gonna share with a lot of people what you hear every day from others that they're going to be going through for the first time. So before we dive into all of that, let's talk about you and your background.
Okay. So I think you could tell I'm a native New Yorker. I hope you can. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I am. I moved to Florida thirty seven years ago because I met my husband on a blind date, and I said, this could be good. And so I'm married thirty six years. We have two sons. One lives locally with his wife and three boys, so makes me a grandma. And my other son happens to live in Israel who recently got married and works with me in the company. So that's very exciting for me. I like to play tennis, walk, read, play canasta, and, friends and family are first and foremost as well as my community.
Oh, there's a lot of people watching that are like, wow. I need to hang out with this lady. Sounds like she knows how to have a good time. So we got a little bit about your personal background there. What about on the the senior living side of things?
Right. So definitely, who I am has to do with what I do, right, professionally. And I started this journey. My sister got into care management, and she would tell me stories like the call she got, what she did, definitely piqued my interest. It is my second career. So I didn't know who this cohort was, these older adult seniors. So I went back to school. At forty eight, I went for my master's of social work. But besides that, I started knocking on doors. I spoke to elder law attorneys, estate attorneys, Medicare people, private duty companies, assisted living, skilled nursing facilities, CCRCs, continuum care retirement communities.
I did not know this space. Now I know it very well. I'm doing it nineteen years. My company is thirteen years old. And we just hired our tenth care manager, so we are very excited. We're growing. And our goal really is to help families and help their loved one improve their quality of life, keep them safe, and give peace to the family, peace of mind.
Yeah. And what you're offering is very much needed now and will continue to be needed, well into the future. So thank you for all that you do. Now when it comes to the people that you see every day, your clients, what are some of the more common surprises or unknowns that you see making the most impact on people when it comes to having an aging loved one?
Impacts on Aging
Okay. So we could spend hours, but in the interest of time, I'm going to try to condense and think about I'm thinking about three things that really come about on a daily basis. One is cognitive deficits or cognition. The second is mental health, and the third is just follow-up, which sounds a little weird, I guess. But let me explain. So cognitive cognition, cognitive deficits. Typical story is children call me or call their loved one, and they don't necessarily live here. So they check-in with mom and or dad. And, you know, according to mom, everything's good. I played cards. I went for dinner. I saw a show. Not so much. But not so much.
Forget that piece. They're repetitive during the conversation. They're not following the conversation, or sometimes they're inappropriate with their responses. These are all telltale signs. We call them red flags as to something might be going on. And families say to us, oh, you know, what do you want? She's eighty eight. He's ninety four. It again, doesn't matter age. There's what's called normal aging and not normal aging. These are not normal this is not normal aging.
When your loved one is repetitive, when they're not playing cards, they've been in the game for twenty years, and now they're no longer playing. Why? Right? Why were they kicked out? Probably because they can't follow anymore. So we hear this all the time, and I think whether it's denial, whether they're not aware look. Everybody's busy. Right? We're just checking in. Sounds good, mom. Talk to you next week. Click. We have to take a little more time and pay attention to some of those signs.
The second, I would say, is mental health. So everybody's concerned about those medical diagnoses. Right? The anemia, the congestive heart failure, the arthritis, the diabetes. What we hear with and you don't have to you know, we're all aging. Right? So this part of the journey, I would say, not for everybody, but for many. But we're not paying attention to the mental health of our loved ones. So we're so concerned with those doctor's notes and calling the doctor, following up on the medications, which is clearly very important to their safety, their well-being, their quality of life, their mental health.
However, we're not paying attention to "I'm very depressed" or "I stayed in bed all day" or "what used to bring me joy doesn't anymore." "I'm anxious. I have sleepless nights. I'm lonely. I'm isolated." All these things go under mental health. And I really feel families and not blaming them. We don't know. Right? We're not paying attention to that piece. And it's so crucial and critical to your loved ones' well-being. Just as making sure that diabetes is in check, making sure, you know, all those other pieces that they're going to the neurologist if they have that cognitive deficit, but, really, the mental health piece, we're seeing it more and more. People aren't paying attention.
And even as a side note to that, like, the loss of somebody you know, somebody's depressed because their spouse died of sixty five years. Yes. There's every reason to be depressed, and we're gonna work through that. But it's also the depression of the loss of themselves, what they used to be. Six weeks ago, six months ago, they're not the same. And so those losses also have an impact on them.
And the third piece, I would say, is follow-up. And it's kind of sounds funny compared to the other two, but follow-up in the sense that if your loved one is going to the doctor, which is great, and they're getting that script because the blood work wasn't good and now we're switching out medications, who is following up that they discontinued the medication that the doctor told them to, that they went and picked up that new prescription, that they're taking it the way they're supposed to. It's all closing, I call it closing the loop. Right?
So it's great that they went to the doctor because some of them some older adults don't even wanna do that. Great that they gave them the script, but what happened after that? And even another example is they're in the rehab. They're being discharged from a rehab, and the scripts are written. They go home with it. And you're talking to them two weeks later, the therapist never came. They didn't go to the follow-up doctor's appointment. Again, closing the loop, following up because we wanna give our loved ones every opportunity to be successful. And we can't do it if we start the process, but we don't, you know, again, close the loop and follow-up. So those are my three key things I would say off the top of my head.
Yeah. Those are those are excellent points. And, you know, we are talking about, advocating. But if you are the senior yourself and you're watching, these are all great ideas for you too. And so when it comes to the options for, senior living nowadays or just seniors in general when it comes to care, how can someone choose the right option for themselves or for that senior loved one?
Choosing the Right Senior Living Option
Okay. We live in a very good time in the sense that there are more options now for older adults than ever before. Right? So if you're looking for whether it's a community, whether it's a physician, whether it's a private duty company because you need a caregiver in your home, there are abundant options for you. And it's almost too much if you don't know how to navigate those options. So I would say there's two things you could do. One is sit down with a loved one or talk to your, you know, your spouse, your, children. What do you want? What are your goals? What are your needs? What are the strengths and weaknesses of that person? And then what are the options out there? And you're trying to make the fit between all the things, all the goals and needs and desires and wants of that person to what to the options that are out there.
So it's not, it's easier said than done, really. And, clearly, you're not gonna hit all the pieces, but you're gonna prioritize. Like, what's the most important thing? You need a new physician. You're not gonna look to somebody an hour and a half away. Right? You want a community, but my resources are x. Well, you're not going to go to the community that's x plus y. So, again, you have to delve into what the needs, wants, and goals of that person, and then really do your research on the options.
Yes. Excellent. All, again, very good points. And so, even in just the beginning of this conversation, we are already starting to figure out why advocates are so important. But, and here's a key question. Who should take on that role? Should it be the daughter? Should it be the son? Should it be a friend? Should it be a niece? Who are the best people to take on that role?
Advocating for Your Senior Loved One
Sure. So first, I wanna say anybody who is experiencing challenges in the aging process, whether it be cognitive deficits, physical and or emotional decline, needs an advocate. Okay? That's first and foremost. Because as we all know, the health care system is broken, and that's another whole conversation. That being said, who should take the role?
So a daughter who doesn't live here or a family member who doesn't live nearby, it's a little harder. Right? Like, we tell our families, wear your boots on the ground. Many of our clients' children do live out of state. They're not here. So we are their eyes and ears. We are the professional. If somebody has the time, wants to do it, is trusted, doesn't have the wrong agenda because we do have family members that have different agendas, and there's a lot of clashing. So you wanna take into consideration all those pieces. But a family member, a trusted friend, a professional, all can be an advocate or be the advocate for that person. You have to look into what they want from it. If they wanna do it, do they have the time for it? And if the person who they're advocating for feels comfortable with that person being their advocate.
Yeah. It's gonna be a team definitely a team effort, and so the trust has to be there. So if somebody's watching and they've gone through all the stages, right, and they've got somebody, set up, they've done everything that you just said. They've got them in a great senior living community, or they've got them set up with home care, and everything seems to be going very well. What should they look for or take to heart, when listening to a senior loved one during that time?
Okay. So you have to listen to them. You can't dismiss anything they say. Sometimes they might come out with something and you're like "Right. No way. Right?" Or I don't believe them. Well, believe them or at least look into it. So I think when somebody is in a community and your loved one says, I had the greatest week this week. We played Mah Jong, and we had a card party, and we went to theater, and we had happy hour. That's great. Or they say, I've never eaten so well. The food is amazing.
I think it's important to listen to that and then to check-in with the people at the community, the personnel, right, whether it's the activities director, the person in the dining room, even the executive director. I hear this is what's going on. You wanna confirm that, yes, it is. But once you know it is, you wanna share that and communicate that with the personnel of that community. Or if you're working with a private duty company, to let them know that this caregiver is really taking good care of your mom or dad. It's important to let them know that for so many reasons. Right?
On the flip side, if they're unhappy, I'm very lonely. I stayed in my room all day. So first, you wanna make sure that's accurate information. And then you wanna, again, delve into why are they doing that, what's going on with them, and, again, communicate with the people at whether the community or whoever's overseeing your loved one's care to find out what's going on and to then take steps to figure out what they have to do, what do you have to do, what do we do as a team, as you said before, because it does take a team to make it better for your loved one.
Yeah. So, take the good and the bad, obviously together, but then trust and then verify. So, great tips. And as we start to wind down, Shari, if somebody is watching and they wanna continue this conversation with you about advocating for a senior loved one, and maybe they have specific questions they want that did not get answered here today, how can they get in touch with you, your company, and what are, some of the first steps that they can take to make the journey for either themselves as the senior or their senior loved one as seamless as possible.
Sure. So first and foremost, you could call me at 561-464-2656. And you could also email me at Shari, shari@senioroptionsfl.com. And lastly, you could go to our website, senioroptionsfl.com. First of all, check us out. Check our team out, our culture, all the services we provide, but, also, there is an inquiry sheet form that you could fill out and submit. And as far as making it a seamless process, I would say just call, and you'll speak to me. Call me. We'll discuss the presenting problems, your concerns about your loved one, and how we could help. And that would be the first step. And, again, the goal is to help you have peace of mind to improve your loved one's quality of life and keep them safe.
Yeah. Senior Options is the company. And, Shari, as I said in the very beginning of this interview, thank you for all that you do and for creating this wonderful company to help, people who are just kinda starting out in this process and and don't really quite know what they're doing, and and leaving it up to professionals like you and your team who know exactly, what what to do and each step to take along the way. Thank you so much for being with us.
Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity.
Yeah. And for those of you watching, if you enjoyed this webinar with Sherry, you found it helpful, we've got plenty more videos all about navigating senior living on our website, www.seniorlivinglive.com. Our videos are all free. They're on demand, and they are available twenty-four seven. We hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for being a part of Senior Living Live. Have a great day, everybody.
